Unsatisfied

Well, my kitchen faucet is broken.  I'm really not excited about this.  I HATE having to have things done around the house.  I don't like service/repairmen.  I wish they could fix it all remotely.  Wa, wa...nothing I can do about it.

I'm feeling restless.  Can you tell by the short staccato sentences??  I'm ready to have my own home.  Yes, I know, it comes with its own array of problems, but I'd like the opportunity to decorate my home.  I don't WANT a blue and yellow papered kitchen with green counter tops anymore.  Were the faucet that broke in my house, I'd have had it replaces long ago.  Don't get me wrong, my landlady is fabulous.  SHE is the reason we haven't found a rental with more square footage and a second bathroom, but my days of counting on someone else to have repairs done are wearing on me.  I have so many ideas for the girls' rooms, I'd like the opportunity to use some of those ideas while they're still young enough to enjoy them.

I sound ungrateful and I know it.  It's not that I'm not thankful to have a home where the landlady actually cares enough to have an exterminator come and rid the house of mice and bugs or is willing to pay weekend prices to have a plumber come out because we have no water.

I suppose I just feel stagnant.  Like I'm treading water while days are flying past.  Does that make sense?  My life is flying by, my girls are growing WAY too fast, I'm getting OLD and yet, I'm stuck.  Part of this could stem from a childhood spent moving every 3-5 years.  We'd get excited about a move.  New city, new people, and what I always naively thought was an opportunity to be a new me.  I need to break out of my routine, but, ironically, my routine is what keeps me sane...literally.

Maybe I need to change my hair, maybe I need to buy some new shoes, maybe I need to shake things up around the house, or maybe, just maybe, I need to turn my attention away from the "stuff".  God has the amazing ability to help me be content with where I am while striving to be so much more.  If only I could shut up and sit still long enough to let Him do that...

Until then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom