Bedtime ruminations

While perusing Facebook in bed, I ran across a friend from college who had checked in at a tourist restaurant in town. Okay, it's probably the ONLY tourist restaurant in town. I "liked" his status and was immediately messaged asking me where I was and what I was doing. I responded that I was home and in bed as there are kids to get to school in the morning and I have my class bright and early. This brought me a bit of a reality check...

My first thought was that I must be getting really old if I just presume that people my age and older are at home at 9:45 p.m. in anticipation of tomorrow's responsibilities. (In the friend's defense, he is moving cross-country, so, his responsibilities right now are...well...to get there.) It's hard to remember, seems like an eternity ago, but there was a time in my life when I would've jumped out of bed and threw some clothes on and headed out to join the party. That level of "freedom", if you will, seems a bit scary to me now. Just the thought causes my stomach to drop a little as it seems so empty, lonely, and limitless, like standing on the edge of a chasm. Anything could happen and, although that once gave me an innocently naive thrill, my more mature self would be much less comfortable with the thought. I suppose that makes me sound very conservative, precautionary, and small and although I sometimes find mostly tedium in my day to day, same old, same old, there is a comfortable confinement in it.

Before I had even a moment to analyze these thoughts, to give myself a chance to wonder if I miss being "footloose and fancy-free", Rory woke up crying. Walking into their room and realizing they are both up and wanting in my bed gave me my answer before I had even asked the question: nope, I don't miss it at all. You, as the reader, already knew that though. The above is the rumination and conclusion reached while two little sweaty snoring girls sleep beside me. I would love to have a bit of a change in our circumstance (Clayton a new job, owning our own home, a little more financial security, etc.) but this, this right here, I wouldn't trade for all the freedom in the world. If the life of a stay-at-home mom is a prison, well, I'm a lifer, I choose to stay here.

Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom