We skipped church this evening to go out for BBQ, which, I think, is only acceptable in Kansas City, Texas, and some parts of Georgia and Tennessee. Before bringing Daddy his shoes, AC dropped said crayon surreptitiously into one of his shoes. I was in the kitchen making sure I had a sufficient baggie full of Cheerios in my purse in the event the natives get restless. The conversation went as follows:
AC: You might want to check your shoe, Daddy.
Daddy: Really? (Laughing) What is this??
AC: It's a turd! Rory pooped in your shoe!!
Okay, this is where things got quiet and I wondered what in the hell was going on until...
Daddy: This tastes awful...
Mommy (yelling from the kitchen): It's a CRAYON!!!!!
At this point I hear violent retching and Clayton hauls ass into the kitchen coughing and gagging into the sink. Yeah, he ate the crayon... I was flabbergasted, never in a million years had I imagined this turn of events when AC initially approached me with the idea.
Why, WHY would he eat it?? His response was that he thought it was chocolate and his intent was to gross the girls out... I have two problems with this: 1. When he popped it into his mouth and didn't taste chocolate, why didn't he spit it out, and 2. Why in the hell would you eat something that came out of your SHOE?? I'm married to this man, I KNOW what his feet smell like...
Needless to say, I continued to snicker at him the whole way to the restaurant as he attempted to nonchalantly remove bits of crayon from his teeth. The best part of the night, however, was when AC needed the restaurant kid menu crayon package opened and I told her to let me do it, Daddy might get hungry and try to eat them... She and I laughed uproariously while he gave us a banal smile and ignored us. I tell ya, that man is NO fun to tease...
Until then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
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