First of all, Rose (aka Aurora) is wandering through the forest singing to the woodland creatures when some dude on a horse starts singing with her. Wouldn't that totally freak you out?? Here I am performing a solo for my mute audience when, out of nowhere, this lunatic turns it into a duet. Personally, my reaction would be to knee him in the balls and run NOT to tell him to meet me at my house later that evening. She's either REALLY naive or Rose is her stage name at the forest titty bar. Furthermore, her directions consist of "the cottage in the glen". If this glen is so easy to find and everyone knows there is a cottage in said glen, why don't they know she lives there? Wouldn't he know there is some smokin' hoochie living in the cottage in the glen? You'd think that kind of 4-1-1 would circulate.
Now, as for Rose herself. I don't think I'd be worried about missing my date with the creeper in the woods if my eccentric caretakers surprised me on my 16th birthday with the revelation that I'm a princess. Are you kidding? I'd be uber pissed! You mean to tell me I've been hunting, gathering, cooking, making my own clothes, and wandering around a forest barefoot for 16 YEARS when all this time there were minions to do this FOR ME?!? Yeah, yeah, there's some screwy witch trying to kill me, but if my royal father and his subjects can't keep this psycho with horns out of the palace, it doesn't bode well for our kingdom in general and I should probably be living up the whole princess thing while it lasts.
As far as Prince Phillip goes, he's taking a leisurely horseback ride through the forest and comes across a cute chick with no shoes on singing to animals. I understand that he might want to "hit that", do some casual dating, go slumming, or what-have-you, but deciding he's going to marry this girl is a little extreme. I mean, he's a prince...he's kind of a big deal and honestly, this girl was TALKING TO ANIMALS. Shouldn't that set off some loony tune warning bells? Do you really, as the prince, want your wife to be heading off to the barn to have philosophical debates with the cows? Something to ponder, Philip...
By the way, if you haven't seen the Disney version in a while, some of this might not make too much sense. And before I hear things like, "Walt Disney murdered fairy tales" or "read the original works, you Philistine", you should know this:
1. I'm going to have a grand time hanging out with Walt Disney in heaven as I am positive that's where that prince of a man is.
2. As far as I'm concerned there IS no version aside from the Disney version.
3. Let's play Disney Trivia, you arrogant ass, I'll own you.
Until then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
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