Only so much oil in this lamp

I apologize for the lack of ascerbic wit you've come to expect from me.  As I stated in Ugly Scars Revealed, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety.  I tend to mentally berate myself for the pile of dirty clothes sitting in front of the washing machine, the dust bunnies in the corners that are large enough to beget dust bunny babies, and just my general lack of "oomph" in relatively all aspects of my life.  This is depression.

Today, however, I had a mini epiphany, if you will.  While doodling in my journal during Bible study this morning (yeah, I know I just admitted I wasn't paying attention...shut up...) I realized that although depression and it's symptoms can cause me to be a horrible housekeeper, a lackluster cook, and someone who cancels plans just so she doesn't have to put on real pants, I refuse to let it make me a bad mom.  I've been in survival mode for quite a while now, there is only so much I can give and I choose to give it to my kids.  The dust will be there tomorrow and so will the crowd of Cheerios having a survivors support group under my couch, but my babies won't.  I refuse to allow depression and anxiety to steal from the lives of my children.  I'll get better and will be able to "undo" the damage this time in my life has caused to my housekeeping duties, but I will never be able to live this day with my kids again.  It's a sobering thought.

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom