The Mom's Night Out Revolution

Declaration of Momdependence

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all moms are created Capable, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are a Life, some sort of Liberty and the pursuit of  Non-Motherhood related activities.  To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world; you know you're a Mom in need of Momdependence if:

1. You've ever crawled around on the floor at 2 a.m. looking for a pacifier as if the fate of the free world depended on it.
2. You've not hesitated and caught the vomit of your offspring in your hand.
3. You've ever been applauded by your toddler for going in the potty.
4. You're daily "me-time" consists of frantically folding laundry, picking Cheerios up off the floor, and putting away toys while the kids nap.
5. You've ever called your husband "Daddy" when alone.
6. You've ever finished half a children's program before realizing your kids are napping/at school/not home.
7. You've engaged in a 15 minute discussion about your children with total strangers in the grocery store.
8. You believe that grannie panties are one of life's little pleasures.
9. You know that no amount of determination or positive thinking will prevent the "windsock boob".
10. You've ever found yourself locked in the bathroom with a piece of chocolate cake telling your children that "Mommy just needs a minute".
11. You've ever found yourself singing "Party In my Tummy" while eating something particularly tasty.
12. You've ever had to consciously stop yourself from telling your husband "no, sir" and sending him to time out.
13. You have no issues sniffing another person's butt for a poopie diaper.
14. You've had serious and prolonged conversations about the contents of said poopie diaper.
15. You've had to transfer your personal items from the diaper bag to your purse before going out without the kids...wait, where IS your purse??

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of Mom-dom, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Families, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Mothers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent People, that they are Absolved from all Motherly duties (at LEAST one night a month); and that as Free and Independent Mothers, they have full Power to levy a Group of Like-Minded women, conclude Dinner with reckless dancing, contract Daddies or Babysitters for said Night, establish a No Phone calls unless there is Bloodshed Rule, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Mommies may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, for all other days and nights apart from Momdependence Day, we pledge to each member of our family our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Until Then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom