When we last saw our portly heroine, she was extolling the virtues of a new, healthier lifestyle and brazenly revealing her weight to the blog-reading populace. What happened to her?
The honest answer is this: I'm kind of an all-or-nothing type of person. I was counting my calories and working out in order to burn more calories than consumed. Sounds perfectly fine, right? Well, when you come to the realization that you're skipping meals and turning down pieces of gum in order to keep your caloric intake in the triple digits, it's time to re-examine things. That being said, I've lost some weight, but not much and have given up the dieting. Besides, I like food.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Goo-Goo for Ga-Ga
Lady GaGa. Her mere name inspires a mental parade of oddball costumes, bad blond wigs, and catchy dance beats. She is lauded far and wide as a genius. The more outrageous her antics, the louder the admiring applause.
I have to be honest. I don't get it. Yep, at risk of sounding like an uneducated Philistine, I'm admitting to the world that I DON'T GET IT. Her goofy costumes, her SciFi Channel make-up, none of it. I'm not being a hater, I think her music is pretty catchy. In fact, Ariel and I have been known to break it on down right next to the Campbell's Soup when "Poker Face" plays over the grocery store speakers. I'm an artist and I just don't get her performance art. I'm relatively open-minded when it comes to art, I even managed to see the art in an instillation piece in which the artist's primary medium was menstrual blood. (I know, I know, but that's another post). Menstrual Blood, I got. A dress made of meat? I can't, for the life of me, wrap my mind around it. She even had a meat purse. (That totally conjures up locker room euphemisms...)
Where did she come from and where did the name "Lady GaGa" originate? She's like one of those mushroom celebrities. One day you turn around and see this woman everywhere and have NO idea who she is or where she came from. I had a similar experience with Justin Beiber... I at least understand his tween appeal. I wish someone could explain her alleged genius to me...I feel so old and disconnected.
I know this post is rather disjointed. I'm thoroughly enjoying my 1000 calorie bad choice (tortilla chips, salsa and Velveeta with a side of PB M&Ms) and The Secret Life of The American Teenager on Netflix. Fatty food and someone else's drama. Something to savour.
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I can't believe I posted this on the internet...
Goodness, it's been so long. I never intend to wait so long before posting, it just seems that time gets away from me and, before I know it, it's been weeks! How in the world am I going to get a book deal if I can't even bother to blog regularly?!? ;o)
I've been making some changes around here. Two weeks ago I had a doctor appointment and had to what every woman hates doing with an audience (no, not that...get your head out of the gutter): I had to step on the scale. I knew I'd not lost too much of my baby weight, but was sure it would start magically melting off. Can we say "denial"? The number that popped up on that digital screen was like a slap in the face. I was well aware I wasn't going to be pleasantly surprised by my weight, but this was worse than I had ever imagined (I can't believe I'm sharing this online...): 164 lbs. My number wouldn't seem like that big of a deal to some, but for my frame, metabolism, and physical history, it's exorbitant. I DO have hypo-thyroidism and my first reaction was to get my levels checked. This can't be MY fault, right? It has nothing to do with the ice cream, M&Ms, pop, and fast food I've been eating with blissful abandon. Nor could my vehement abhorrence of physical activity be to blame. My expertly-crafted denial was put to work in the following week it took to get my blood work back. This week was, of course, a carb and sugar-filled, crazy-loco fiesta. Double caramel Magnum ice cream bar anyone? Oh, never mind, I ate them all...
Ever see someone who is severely obese ordering an extra large super value meal at McDonald's and think, "Really? When is enough going to be enough?" You wonder when they're going to look at themselves in the mirror and think, "This has got to stop." (Okay, so maybe you aren't so blatantly judgemental, but I'm going out on a limb here and admitting that I DO have those thoughts from time to time.) Well, last Wednesday I got the results of my blood work. My levels are fine. Crap... This is when I had my own "enough is enough" moment. That evening I logged onto Spark People again and readjusted my goals. I have a tendency to shoot high, miss, get discouraged, and quit. This time, however, my goal is to lose 24 lbs by September. I'm not using their pre-planned diet and really, I'm not considering myself "on a diet", I'm just making better choices. I know that if I have to log everything I shove in my mouth, I'm much less likely to eat the Cheetos left on AC's plate or grab a handful of M&Ms as I walk through the kitchen.
As hard as making good food choices is for me (because, before kids, I never really had to worry about my weight), the exercise is 10x harder. I HATE working out. HATE it. I don't like feeling out of breath, sweating, nor the alleged hurts-so-good pain that comes with it. There is nothing about a "good" workout that appeals to me...other than not being fat, of course. Knowing this about myself, I'm attempting to get my calorie burning in in a way that doesn't feel so much like exercise: Just Dance 2 on the Wii. Think that sounds like a cop out? Try "Maniac"... I've been doing approximately 8 songs on days when I can. I have to be realistic about my schedule, there are some days when spending a good 30 minutes getting sweaty (and the shower that must follow) really doesn't fit. I figure on those days I'm running around so much that it all works out. Rationalization? Maybe, but these physical and nutritional changes have to fit into my lifestyle or I won't stay consistent.
It's only been a week and weight loss has only been 2 lbs, but that's a healthy amount and I'm okay with it. At the risk of becoming a failure publicly, I'm hoping that posting this blog will help to keep me accountable. We'll see!
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
I've been making some changes around here. Two weeks ago I had a doctor appointment and had to what every woman hates doing with an audience (no, not that...get your head out of the gutter): I had to step on the scale. I knew I'd not lost too much of my baby weight, but was sure it would start magically melting off. Can we say "denial"? The number that popped up on that digital screen was like a slap in the face. I was well aware I wasn't going to be pleasantly surprised by my weight, but this was worse than I had ever imagined (I can't believe I'm sharing this online...): 164 lbs. My number wouldn't seem like that big of a deal to some, but for my frame, metabolism, and physical history, it's exorbitant. I DO have hypo-thyroidism and my first reaction was to get my levels checked. This can't be MY fault, right? It has nothing to do with the ice cream, M&Ms, pop, and fast food I've been eating with blissful abandon. Nor could my vehement abhorrence of physical activity be to blame. My expertly-crafted denial was put to work in the following week it took to get my blood work back. This week was, of course, a carb and sugar-filled, crazy-loco fiesta. Double caramel Magnum ice cream bar anyone? Oh, never mind, I ate them all...
Ever see someone who is severely obese ordering an extra large super value meal at McDonald's and think, "Really? When is enough going to be enough?" You wonder when they're going to look at themselves in the mirror and think, "This has got to stop." (Okay, so maybe you aren't so blatantly judgemental, but I'm going out on a limb here and admitting that I DO have those thoughts from time to time.) Well, last Wednesday I got the results of my blood work. My levels are fine. Crap... This is when I had my own "enough is enough" moment. That evening I logged onto Spark People again and readjusted my goals. I have a tendency to shoot high, miss, get discouraged, and quit. This time, however, my goal is to lose 24 lbs by September. I'm not using their pre-planned diet and really, I'm not considering myself "on a diet", I'm just making better choices. I know that if I have to log everything I shove in my mouth, I'm much less likely to eat the Cheetos left on AC's plate or grab a handful of M&Ms as I walk through the kitchen.
As hard as making good food choices is for me (because, before kids, I never really had to worry about my weight), the exercise is 10x harder. I HATE working out. HATE it. I don't like feeling out of breath, sweating, nor the alleged hurts-so-good pain that comes with it. There is nothing about a "good" workout that appeals to me...other than not being fat, of course. Knowing this about myself, I'm attempting to get my calorie burning in in a way that doesn't feel so much like exercise: Just Dance 2 on the Wii. Think that sounds like a cop out? Try "Maniac"... I've been doing approximately 8 songs on days when I can. I have to be realistic about my schedule, there are some days when spending a good 30 minutes getting sweaty (and the shower that must follow) really doesn't fit. I figure on those days I'm running around so much that it all works out. Rationalization? Maybe, but these physical and nutritional changes have to fit into my lifestyle or I won't stay consistent.
It's only been a week and weight loss has only been 2 lbs, but that's a healthy amount and I'm okay with it. At the risk of becoming a failure publicly, I'm hoping that posting this blog will help to keep me accountable. We'll see!
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Monday, May 2, 2011
Beans in the Bathtub
After showering this afternoon, I noticed that our bathtub drain was slow. I made a mental note to pick up some Drain-o on my next excursion and went about my business making dinner. Dinner was a REALLY yummy black bean soup...that is neither here nor there. I used canned beans and rinsed them in a colander in the sink. We ate dinner (AC under duress) and proceeded to go on with our night.
Feeling the need to use the facilities, I headed to the bathroom only to be confronted with a cringe-inducing sight. There was black crap ALL OVER THE BOTTOM OF THE BATHTUB! After my initial shock, I realized the black crap was the liquid I rinsed off the beans for dinner...yeah... Let's up the ante and report that my attempts to flush the toilet went south...well, ok, didn't go south. Now there's potty water all over my bathroom floor. I'm so excited.
A text to my landlady availeth much; there will be a plumber here tomorrow come hell or high water. Hopefully, there's no high water. Until then, AC thinks peeing in the backyard is a grand adventure. Mommy, not so much. Thank God for the motion lights and privacy fence...
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Feeling the need to use the facilities, I headed to the bathroom only to be confronted with a cringe-inducing sight. There was black crap ALL OVER THE BOTTOM OF THE BATHTUB! After my initial shock, I realized the black crap was the liquid I rinsed off the beans for dinner...yeah... Let's up the ante and report that my attempts to flush the toilet went south...well, ok, didn't go south. Now there's potty water all over my bathroom floor. I'm so excited.
A text to my landlady availeth much; there will be a plumber here tomorrow come hell or high water. Hopefully, there's no high water. Until then, AC thinks peeing in the backyard is a grand adventure. Mommy, not so much. Thank God for the motion lights and privacy fence...
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Let's eat grandma
At the risk of making error in this post that turns me into a hypocrite, I'm going to share one of my biggest pet peeves: the misuse of the apostrophe.
I have come to find that most elementary and secondary English classes have been remiss in the education of our population when it comes to spelling and grammar. The most notable injustice has been done to the apostrophe. Misuse of this member of the punctuation family is RAMPANT. Granted, I can see how the layman may not be all too concerned with its appropriate use, however, you would THINK that businesses would take a little more time to proofread.
Before I submit to you the following "fails", I feel we need to clarify that apostrophes have two main purposes, to take the place of missing letters in a contraction or to indicate the possessive.
1.
According to the company's website, the name came from the concept that the customer would "toot" their car horn and the attendant would "tote" the customer's purchase to them. Therefore, I believe it is acceptable to assume the name is a play on the phrase "toot and tote them". If this is the case, the apostrophe's purpose is to take the place of missing letters in the contraction making the correct punctuation for this convenience store "Toot 'n' Totum". Unless of course they are intending "toot'n" to be a shortened "tooting". However, that makes no sense when taking into consideration the origin of their name..."tooting tote them"...
2. *The picture of the sign has been removed from the source, but you can find the store, "Yesterday's and Tomorrow's" site here*
From the way this sign is punctuated, it would seem that "flowers and gifts" belong to yesterday and tomorrow. I would buy that and consider it intentional if it weren't for those three little words in the top left corner. Yep, it's supposed to say "for all your yesterdays and tomorrows" requiring NO apostrophe...at all...for any reason.
3.
*The store, "It's Banana's" has since closed thus removing the picture*
Really? It is? The use of the apostrophe in the "it's" is correct, a contraction for "it is". The apostrophe in "banana's" makes it seem that whatever "it" is indicating actually belongs to "banana"...yeah, makes sense, doesn't it?
I'm going to have to cut my examples short as I can hear Rory awake and I need to dress and feed her before we head to AC's best friend's birthday party. Before I go, I invite you to "like" the Facebook page "Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. Educate the masses, one potential cannibal at a time.
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Have you ever found illiteracy in business? Please share...
I have come to find that most elementary and secondary English classes have been remiss in the education of our population when it comes to spelling and grammar. The most notable injustice has been done to the apostrophe. Misuse of this member of the punctuation family is RAMPANT. Granted, I can see how the layman may not be all too concerned with its appropriate use, however, you would THINK that businesses would take a little more time to proofread.
Before I submit to you the following "fails", I feel we need to clarify that apostrophes have two main purposes, to take the place of missing letters in a contraction or to indicate the possessive.
According to the company's website, the name came from the concept that the customer would "toot" their car horn and the attendant would "tote" the customer's purchase to them. Therefore, I believe it is acceptable to assume the name is a play on the phrase "toot and tote them". If this is the case, the apostrophe's purpose is to take the place of missing letters in the contraction making the correct punctuation for this convenience store "Toot 'n' Totum". Unless of course they are intending "toot'n" to be a shortened "tooting". However, that makes no sense when taking into consideration the origin of their name..."tooting tote them"...
2. *The picture of the sign has been removed from the source, but you can find the store, "Yesterday's and Tomorrow's" site here*
From the way this sign is punctuated, it would seem that "flowers and gifts" belong to yesterday and tomorrow. I would buy that and consider it intentional if it weren't for those three little words in the top left corner. Yep, it's supposed to say "for all your yesterdays and tomorrows" requiring NO apostrophe...at all...for any reason.
3.
Really? It is? The use of the apostrophe in the "it's" is correct, a contraction for "it is". The apostrophe in "banana's" makes it seem that whatever "it" is indicating actually belongs to "banana"...yeah, makes sense, doesn't it?
I'm going to have to cut my examples short as I can hear Rory awake and I need to dress and feed her before we head to AC's best friend's birthday party. Before I go, I invite you to "like" the Facebook page "Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. Educate the masses, one potential cannibal at a time.
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Have you ever found illiteracy in business? Please share...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Life Lesson #1
Read this somewhere, the author is Unknown. What an unfortunate moniker... ;o)
"During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy."
"During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy."
I know my cleaning lady really well. In fact, I saw her naked this morning...in the mirror. Bahahahahaha!!!!
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Wee in the Wee Hours
Last night I agreed to let AC sleep in my bed. Around 11 p.m., knackered, I was really looking forward to crawling under the covers passing out for the night. I fling back the comforter and slide in only to feel something warm and wet. Yep, AC peed.
Can I tell you how much thrilled I was to have to sponge off and redress an understandably stinky and whiny 3 year old before having to strip my bed and wash the sheets?? I tossed everything in the washer and crawled into AC's little twin bed next to her waking intermittently to toss it into the dryer and then, finally, to climb into my own bed with clean sheets at 2:30 a.m.
I think my kids were unwittingly out to get me because no sooner did I close my eyes, than Rory decided she wasn't sleepy anymore. I spent the next hour and a half trying to get her back to sleep.
This really is par for the course around here. It makes me wonder WHY it is that I am having a hard time losing weight. Seriously, I feel like, aside from small spaces of time here and there, I am ALWAYS moving in order to clean up, get someone something, put something away, etc. I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life petitioning God to change the rules. Moms should have metabolisms that run double time.
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Can I tell you how much thrilled I was to have to sponge off and redress an understandably stinky and whiny 3 year old before having to strip my bed and wash the sheets?? I tossed everything in the washer and crawled into AC's little twin bed next to her waking intermittently to toss it into the dryer and then, finally, to climb into my own bed with clean sheets at 2:30 a.m.
I think my kids were unwittingly out to get me because no sooner did I close my eyes, than Rory decided she wasn't sleepy anymore. I spent the next hour and a half trying to get her back to sleep.
This really is par for the course around here. It makes me wonder WHY it is that I am having a hard time losing weight. Seriously, I feel like, aside from small spaces of time here and there, I am ALWAYS moving in order to clean up, get someone something, put something away, etc. I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life petitioning God to change the rules. Moms should have metabolisms that run double time.
Until Then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)