Whoa! This blog entry is taking a turn. An hour ago I was sitting on the couch typing an entry with totally different (yet less entertaining) content when I heard a rumble erupt from the nether-regions of my youngest offspring. Every mother knows and dreads that rumble. One the likes of which no diaper known to man can contain... Yep, her little newborn diaper wasbursting at the seams with runny yellow baby crap.While AC (let's facetiously call her "Flash" for the rest of this entry...does that tell you anything about her ability to discern urgency??) was off fashioning a diaper and wipes by hand, Rory, sans diaper, exploded again. This time all over her receiving blanket, socks, and onsie.
I think it goes without saying that Rory had her first full-on immersion bath this evening. It was a circus trying to get everything in order to dunk the poo-ball... I tried to keep poop from dripping while grabbing towels and a baby washcloth and sent Flash to get, in turn, the Clorox wipes from the bathroom (so I could wipe out the kitchen sink), a new onsie, the lotion, soap, an extra towel, a diaper, and, of course, my phone, so I could preserve the moment for posterity. All the while, Rory was screaming like a banshee. No wonder though, I would too if I were cold and naked on the kitchen counter covered in my own crap. Oh, and I might add that Clayton's friend from Bible college decided that this was a perfect time to call and congratulate us on the new baby...poor guy, I know he had no idea, but really, what is WRONG with men's timing???
When the bath (and screaming) was finally over, I know what Rory was thinking while sucking the life out of her pacifier, "What the hell just happened to me??" Can't you just see it on her face? SO funny...
After cleaning up, putting AC to bed, and dousing Rory's poo-soaked clothes with an entire bottle of Shout, I'm spent. Time to wrap this puppy up and sit down with my mini bottle of sweet red, bag of baked Ruffles, and the new episode of Survivor. Does that sound like class or what?!?
Until then,
AC 'n' Rory's Mom
P.S. My kid has the most HILARIOUS monkey hair...this is guiltless mocking, I hear I had the same head of hair!
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