Water Damage

I've been on hiatus since arriving at my mom's house. It's not that there isn't anything to blog about or that I don't have the time, it's just that I am always finding something else to do...like water aerobics. Mom has a gym membership and attends water aerobics three times per week. I went with her on a guest pass last Friday and the following Saturday, I congratulated myself on signing up for a one month membership so that I could continue to go with her. Monday mom wasn't feeling well, so, like the diligent eager beaver I am (can you smell the sarcasm?), I went without her, but took AC so Mom and Grandma would have only one child to worry about. I had added AC to my membership, so I didn't count on having to fill out paperwork upon our arrival at the children's area. After filling out all kinds of information I had ALREADY given them when signing up (don't get me started on their cockamamie clerical system), I was 5 minutes late to my water aerobics class.

**Sidebar: I feel as though I should clear something up here. For all those naysayers who would poke fun at my group fitness choice, ponder the following:

1. If you exercise in water, you don't look like an over-ripe tomato when you're finished, you also don't FEEL like you've just been beaten with a stick like you do after a land aerobics class.

2. If you, like me, are an uncoordinated nincompoop when it comes to land aerobics classes, you may enjoy partaking in the water. The water does an excellent job of hiding your flailing limbs and there are no mirrors to broadcast your bumbling ass to the rest of the class.

3. A water aerobics class is filled with OLD PEOPLE. It doesn't matter that you have to don a swimsuit, you can feel confident in the fact that your exposed flesh doesn't look like a crumpled paper bag. It's a major confidence booster.

Where were we? Ah, yes, 5 minutes late to class I dash into the pool area to find that all the front row spots are filled. (These elderly women are vicious about their "spots".) In fact, the only spot available was in water that came up to my chin next to the middle aged fat dude who looked like he was wearing a fuzzy sweater vest. Yum. The depth combined with the fat guy sloshing water over my head with each sweep of his curiously fuzz-free arm made it not only difficult to do the exercises, but also to...well, not drown. It wasn't until late that night when I woke up in blinding pain that I realized I had hurt myself. Fo' reals, I couldn't turn my head to the left nor look down and every movement sent shock waves of pain radiating through my back, my shoulder joints, and each arm. Yes, I sustain a water aerobics induced injury. No, I am not proud of that, but YOU try floundering about in water up to your chin for an hour and see how YOU feel, mkay?

It's 4 days later and I'm STILL rubbing Mineral Ice all over my shoulders and back. It might have something to do with the fact that I took too much pain reliever and played Just Dance and Just Dance 2 with my cousin on the Wii last night for 2 hours...just maybe... In my defense, I kicked ass although I think I'll stick to board games for the remainder of the weekend.

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom

Snow-induced workload

Okay, I'm confused... It was 70+ degrees out yesterday, thunderstormed last night, and we woke up to snow this morning. Seriously?!?

We stayed up pretty late last night as I knew we didn't have anything to do today other than laundry. It was a pretty strong storm, lots of lightning and thunder, a littlebit of hail. Nothing too terrible. I checked my weather app and it showed two severe weather alerts, one for flooding and the other for a strong storm that could produce hail.

We must've been SUPER tired because all three of us slept soundly all snuggled up in Mommy's bed. We woke up this morning, immediately took showers and put on clean pajamas, it was about 10 a.m. when we walked into the living room to discover there was snow outside! Unfortunately, Mommy also noticed there were branches ALL OVER THE YARD. In the driveway too! Sh*t, are you kidding me? My husband isn't here, this means I have to clean this crap up... I'm a girl, that's not my job. (Yes, I know that's "so sexist", but when sexism works in my favor, I'm all for it.)

AC was thrilled and wanted to go outside and make snow angels and eat snow. It's a little too muddy and slushy out there, so, according to her, it was the height of unfairness when I put on my down coat and waterproof boots and slogged outside into the cold to "play". Let me assure you, Mommy would've gladly delegated the "playing" to someone else had there been anyone else to do it. I briefly considered calling the kid who mowed my lawn this summer to come and clear out the branches...

First on the list, clear off the satelite so NickJr could babysit my child while I was outside. This, of course, resulted in a deluge of slushy snow down the back of my coat. Hooray. I then had to take out the trash, I was seriously wishing I had done it the night before. That'll learn me to procrastinate... While out there I noticed that, what I assume must have been the wind, had blown open the gate to the front yard despite the padlock that we have on there. Strange.

I slogged all those branches to the backyard and then dug out the gate to the alley and piled them all next to the dumpster. There was only one in the front yard that I couldn't get. It was just TOO heavy.

It was SO nice to come inside to the cozy new scent I have in my Scentsy warmer, Baked Apple Pie. I am now thawing on the couch with a hot cup of pumpkin spice coffee. I am glad that is over, I don't think I've missed Clayton so much since I found a dead mouse under the sink...

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom

Three diamonds and a promise

I was waking up often last night to nurse Rory as I developed a blocked duct or something yesterday. Those SUCK! I had never had one before and it felt like she was sucking razor blade soup as opposed to milk... Anyway, with a trip to Mom's coming up soon, I was running through the laundry list of things I need to do before we leave, things I need to pack, things I'll need to get once we get there, and obsessing over how much more difficult the trip will be with a baby.

Of course, because it was nighttime and dark, my mind took a trip down Scary Lane. I swear, I watch too many crime dramas... I was thinking about how scary it really is out there. It seems that much more so when on the road and stopping in places that aren't familiar. Even scarier is knowing that I am the sole caretaker for two children this trip. It wasn't so bad with AC, she can walk, pee on the potty, etc. Well, I was freaking the hell out so, I started praying.

After feeding the baby and stirring myself into a maternal frenzy, I got up to get ready for the day. (I don't know how it happens, but it doesn't matter how early we get up and ready, it's alway a rushed whirlwind getting out of the house...) As I was putting on my shirt, my necklace caught on my shirt. Now, this isn't just any necklace, it's the diamond necklace my husband bought me before we were married. It's three teeny tiny diamonds set in platinum and it's one of the things I would grab if the house ever caught on fire. I looked down and, at first, thought my chain had broken. It hadn't, the clasp had come undone. It wasn't broken or open or anything...strange. As I went to re-clasp it, I broke out in a cold sweat...the pendant was NOT on the chain. In a panic, I started thinking about all the unretrievable places it could've dropped only to notice a sparkle in my bra. (There's a joke in there, but I'm in a hurry!) There it was, nestled in my bra. My sigh of relief also contained a small prayer of thanks.

Now, I'm not one to over-spiritualize things, but at that moment God spoke to me. He doesn't speak to me like crazy town voices in my head or anything. I just have thoughts pop into my head and I know it's Him. What He said was, "I know how precious this necklace is to you, how much more precious to Me are you and your daughters? I'll take care of you, just trust Me."

Awesome. I'm not going to get all kooky and look any deeper into it than that, but I just think it's pretty cool that this God I serve has enough compassion for me to assuage my silly apprehensions.

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom

Snack and Inspiration

Head to the fridge, ladies, I've fallen in love with a new snack/meal that hits the spot and I DON'T feel guilty about! You'll need the following:

2 lb tub of Brown Cow Cream Top yogurt (It's VERY important to get the cream top...SOOOOOO good)

Small container of raspberries or blackberries or both!

Almond and flax granola

Mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

Rinse the berries and dump 'em into a bowl. Stir the yogurt well and pour 1/3 to 1/2 of the container of yogurt on top. Fill the rest of the bowl with granola and chocolate chips. Stir and EAT!

The chocolate and the rich creaminess of the yogurt makes it feel like I'm eating some sort of dessert and, although it probably does pack on the calories, there are a lot of nutritional benefits. The berries and dark chocolate are full of antioxidants, I'm getting vitamin D and probiotics from the yogurt, and fresh berries and granola give me fiber. As far as I'm concerned, that outweighs the caloric intake...

So, sit back with your bowl of yum, grab a tissue, and read the following blog. Be sure to pass it along, it needs to be read.

http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/you-just-broke-your-child.html

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom

Fairy Tale Reflections

So, I've been thinking about this whole Sleeping Beauty fairy tale... There are some major flaws.

First of all, Rose (aka Aurora) is wandering through the forest singing to the woodland creatures when some dude on a horse starts singing with her. Wouldn't that totally freak you out?? Here I am performing a solo for my mute audience when, out of nowhere, this lunatic turns it into a duet. Personally, my reaction would be to knee him in the balls and run NOT to tell him to meet me at my house later that evening. She's either REALLY naive or Rose is her stage name at the forest titty bar. Furthermore, her directions consist of "the cottage in the glen". If this glen is so easy to find and everyone knows there is a cottage in said glen, why don't they know she lives there? Wouldn't he know there is some smokin' hoochie living in the cottage in the glen? You'd think that kind of 4-1-1 would circulate.

Now, as for Rose herself. I don't think I'd be worried about missing my date with the creeper in the woods if my eccentric caretakers surprised me on my 16th birthday with the revelation that I'm a princess. Are you kidding? I'd be uber pissed! You mean to tell me I've been hunting, gathering, cooking, making my own clothes, and wandering around a forest barefoot for 16 YEARS when all this time there were minions to do this FOR ME?!? Yeah, yeah, there's some screwy witch trying to kill me, but if my royal father and his subjects can't keep this psycho with horns out of the palace, it doesn't bode well for our kingdom in general and I should probably be living up the whole princess thing while it lasts.

As far as Prince Phillip goes, he's taking a leisurely horseback ride through the forest and comes across a cute chick with no shoes on singing to animals. I understand that he might want to "hit that", do some casual dating, go slumming, or what-have-you, but deciding he's going to marry this girl is a little extreme. I mean, he's a prince...he's kind of a big deal and honestly, this girl was TALKING TO ANIMALS. Shouldn't that set off some loony tune warning bells? Do you really, as the prince, want your wife to be heading off to the barn to have philosophical debates with the cows? Something to ponder, Philip...

By the way, if you haven't seen the Disney version in a while, some of this might not make too much sense. And before I hear things like, "Walt Disney murdered fairy tales" or "read the original works, you Philistine", you should know this:

1. I'm going to have a grand time hanging out with Walt Disney in heaven as I am positive that's where that prince of a man is.

2. As far as I'm concerned there IS no version aside from the Disney version.

3. Let's play Disney Trivia, you arrogant ass, I'll own you.

Until then,

AC 'n' Rory's Mom